Just explaining what Emotions are, is a very deep subject in my book Changing Your Stripes, 30 pages are dedicating to defining Emotions, let alone mastering Emotions. Crucial Conversations suggests "find a way to master emotions or fall hostage to them."Ī way to master emotions is NOT "found" in the pages of Crucial Conversation. you would immediately start emoting involuntarily emotion would spontaneously flow reactively and NOT logically. For example, if someone aimed a gun at you. What is the comparable process of Nurture the enhances one's ability to Be Sincere or Step Out or Take Charge? Crucial Conversations does not describe that Process of Nurture - that process of Change.Ĭoupled with the encouragement to "take charge of your body" is this statement about emotion: "You and only you create your emotions" - a conclusion that is half-right and half-wrong. by watering them and feeding them essential minerals, this nurture will enhance the ripening process. In contrast, green tomatoes will become more mature as they are properly nourished. 35), as if thinking this statement would automatically make it happen: Again, this is like telling green tomatoes to " Be Ripe" - an affirmation that has minimal effect upon the ripening process. The book warns of destructive emotions that will absolutely undermine one's effectiveness as a crucial conversationalist - but human beings are NOT cold calculating business machines, thus being warned NOT to have certain emotions, will not change the flow of emotions one whit.Ĭrucial Conversations gives over-simplistic solutions like, "Take charge of your body" (p. The book assumes that human beings live like logical business machines and can navigate high stake situations, just by capturing key question in their Head: The book admonishes readers to " Step Out" when things start " turning ugly" (p. Let's look at a contradictory parallel in Crucial Conversation: You see, becoming mature and being young are contradictions. is wait until they are NOT teenagers anymore. Returning back to the task of teaching teenagers to " Be Mature," the first thing you must do. Because Crucial Conversations offers "techniques" and "scripts" - logical "tools" cognitively conjured by the Head - the book tells you what to superficially say and do but FAILS to describe the Process of Change from the Heart. This is one of the "logical" dead-ends in Crucial Conversations, and it becomes an "actual" dead-end when readers try to apply the skill-based paradigm encouraged by the book. the goal " Be Sincere" entails a process! A Journey of Change, a Process of Becoming that is not described within the pages of Crucial Conversations in contrast the process of change IS detailed in my book " Changing Your Stripes." doesn't make it so and contrary to an erroneous assumption sold by The Secret, neither does thinking and chanting the affirmation " Be Sincere, Be Sincere, Be Sincere," magically make you a sincere person.įor example: How do parents teach immature teenagers to become mature? They might start by communicating the message: " Be Mature," but this is like telling a green tomato to " Be Ripe." Truth is, green tomatoes will continue to be green, until they ripen naturally - and all the verbal persuasion in the world will not accelerate this process.Īh, the process. Maybe I missed something? I studied chapter after chapter for a description of how one might " Be Sincere." Obviously, just reading it and saying it. Start with Heart - Get Ready to Listen: Be Sincere. The advertising on the back-cover says "More Than 500,000 Copies Sold." I'm hoping that many of the half-million readers of "Crucial Conversations" are able to find this webpage, so they can become aware of ideas that augment and "go beyond" the skill-based paradigm of "tools for talking." The following ideas point out and solve the logical dead-ends contained in Crucial Conversations.įirst, one foundational flaw found on page 143 - a logical dead-end unsolved by authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler: Greetings Connoisseurs of Fine and Effective Communication: So You Think You Can Dance - Season 5 Five For those who have Suffered Extre me Abuseīirther Madness: Barack Obama Born in Kenya
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